Goodbye, Merlin

I really feel like the Counting Crows got it completely right; we really don’t know what we’ve got ’til it’s gone.

Merlin was 2 years old, grey and white, timid, quick to jump at loud noises, he had a tail that always wiggled like a dog, a funny limp/gait, and he was adorable as fuck.

Unfortunately, about a week ago, he was hit by a car.

Its the little things like his stupid tail constantly wiggling and wagging, that keep coming back to me.

Sometimes, he would walk up to you and simply drop to the floor (as many cats do) right in front of my feet. He liked his tummy being stroked.

When he walked down the stairs, the sound was a distinct cl-i-p cl-o-p of thumps because of his odd gait.

His meow was a wail. He always sounded like he was in pain.

He didn’t like being picked up, even though he loved attention.

And now it’s all gone, and I miss it, way more than I probably should.

Last night, I had a bath and cried in the bathtub at the thought of him dying alone on that cold tarmac road.

I’m crying a little now, remembering it.

With cats, you can’t always be there to protect them.

With cats, like people, you just have to let them go one day and hope for the best.

And sometimes, like Merlin, there’s a car, a road, and a bad bad choice.

If you can hear me, if spirits really do live on, then I want you to know that I love you and I hope you are happy, little Merly-werl.

*

This post was a great emotional outlet. It might not make sense, and for that I apologise! However, writing is a good release for me and I felt like I needed it. So, thank you for putting up with my ramblings and reading ’til the end. 💕